Entertaining Angels Unawares

Thank you for going running with me this morning.  I bet you didn’t even know you were there!  But as I did my morning run around Crystal Lake you were with me every step of the way.  Knowing I would check in with you tonight, whoever you are wherever you are, I felt I was in good company.  I know my personal struggles are not unique to me, and in fact I’m hoping some of you can see yourselves in my writing.  In the middle of the last millennium Rumi wrote “All day I think about it, and at night I say it: Who am I and what am I and what am I supposed to be doing?”  My sense is that everyone wonders about the purpose of his or her life—or the purpose of life itself—from time to time.  For me that question comes up several times an hour, but I happen to have an extreme case of “human.”

Dr. Burrows, my Intro to Christian History professor told us about the semester he tried to teach history in reverse chronological order, so I today took you with me on my usual morning run, but this time we went clockwise, whereas I’ve been going counterclockwise thus far.  All of the landmarks look different in reverse.  I time my runs and I always want to beat yesterday’s time but rarely do. As I’m running, I measure where I am with where I think I’m supposed to be.  I do this in the rest of my life as well.  This means I’m human.  We all do this, at least from time to time.  We congratulate ourselves if we think we’re ahead, we berate ourselves, excuse ourselves or redouble our efforts if we think we’re behind. 

Most drivers completely ignore me standing on the side of the road in the crosswalk—sometimes they ignore me when I’m in the middle of the crosswalk.  But this morning I was extremely grateful, because some guy let me cross the very minute I approached the crosswalk—and that had to shave at least a minute off my time!  It occurred to me that it’s kind of like this in life too.  Sometimes we get delayed or taken completely off track because of life circumstances.  No use beating ourselves up over it.

  Because I was running, I couldn’t help but reflect on Paul’s writings in 1 Corinthians when he advises the Corinthians to be like athletes, who put everything they have into reaching their goal and do not let physical discomfort get in their way.  That had a special meaning to me, since over the past 18 months I have for the first time in my life explored my own athleticism.  Oh, I’ve exercised before.  But about a year and a half ago I found a gym partner whose life is devoted to athletics.  She pushed me well beyond my comfort zone, and into sheer exhaustion.  I still managed to walk out of the gym, and became stronger than ever as a result.  So I know the focus and determination Paul is talking about, at least a little bit. 

Memories of my first 5K were awakened by my reflection on Paul’s words.  My son Connor ran with me, and when I hit the point where I wanted to quit he kept me moving forward.  We crossed the finish line side by side, I with tears of joy.  Since that memory inspires me and gives me strength,  Connor is with me now--cheering me on and telling me I can do what I don’t think I can do.

Suddenly the presence of every soul with whom I’ve ever connected—including you, dear reader—was made tangible, giving me genuine respite from the loneliness I’ve been feeling for weeks.  I read your comments, I feel your love and your support, and I am filled with gratitude at your kindness.  Thank you for going running with me this morning.  Thank you for sharing in and supporting my journey through seminary school.  I am in the company of angels!

Namaste~

Shelley